At the beginning of the nineteenth century, a lot of professionals had the opinion that children who misbehaved came from “bad stock”, they also said these children of ”bad blood lines ”were simply “born criminals” due to “family traits.”
As the century passed into the next, the thoughts from qualified professionals were, these children are a product of their environment.
Mothers of the 50’s and 60’s era wore the brunt of the criticism due to inadequacy of their ability to raise decent children.
Regardless of the style of home security and stability, it seemed have no affect on the outcome of these opinions. Therefore the mother remains guilty no matter what the circumstances maybe.
Difficult Child – The Senseless Fifty’s:
The attitude of some throughout the fifty’s the period where mothers were quite fearful of psychological abuse.
There is real evidence that this heredity exists from the time the mother gives birth, there however, different personalities even in twins.
In one cot you can have a quiet, loving, affectionate baby whereas in the cot next door is the twin who is irritable, crying, tantrums and so on, genetically they are identical but as far as their personalities go, they are like chalk and cheese.
The difference in the personalities is more to do with heredity of one or both parents.
Difficult Child – The New View Of The Eighties:
It is also shown that heredity has a major part in the make up of a baby’s temperament and personality.
As much as past times have blamed bad breeding and an assortment of other things, it’s believed the hereditary side only gives parents a base to work with.
The rest is generally a baby becoming a product of the environment in which they are raised.
With each child born, having their own personality and requirements, parents who have a quiet peaceful lifestyle and have given birth to a baby quite the opposite, need to learn how to change the way they handle the difficult times.
Slow teaching and close nurturing is the only way to teach children of any age, keeping in mind to be in touch with each child’s individual needs and guide them accordingly.
The use of force will 99% of the time result in conflict and in most cases the child will only grow to be frightened of the offending parent and not even learn the point you are trying to get across.
Learn to be supportive and help them through their difficulties, as well as being fair and understanding to their needs.
Difficult Child – Other Genetic Influences:
Children tend to show strong traits passed down the generic ladder as with their attitude, and behavior, which is somewhat very similar to that of their parents.
Sometimes it’s as though our children come pre programmed with our weaknesses, to use at their discretion. We are the ones who give them this power, in the way we react to their actions.
At the sign of panic or unrest, our children pick up on this and store their action and our reaction in their memory bank for future reference.
Our children seek out our weakness and embrace this with future habits for themselves.
As we go about our daily lives our children watch and learn from us, they portray us, as we are their roll models.
Some parents who are disorganised or panic quite easily, you will normally find the child to be similar. But we see it as the child over reacting and needing attention.
Even parents who lead a very active lifestyle will experience the “go juice” in their child, as they have been taught by us to keep on the move, but when its time to relax a little and our child remains “on the go” we then see this as a problem in them.
But we have encouraged this on the “on-the-go” lifestyle; therefore need to look at ourselves, maybe a little reprogramming of ourselves is what is needed here.
Difficult Child – Is Our Child’s Behavior Worse Than Ours Was?
Some time back when we were children, there didn’t seem to be anywhere near the problem with children as there does to day.
A lot of professionals believe the difference in our children to day, is more to do with the toxin’s we give our children, such as the artificial colors and preservatives in foods, etc…
But there are also other’s who don’t follow these ideas, believing it has more to do with the fact that when we were young, problems were not as spoken about due to the fact the mother is to blame for the behavior of the child.
There also wasn’t the support and understanding of child psychology as there is today. This alone was enough to deter parents from seeking outside help.
Misconduct in our children has also increased a lot because of the insecurity the family unit carries.
These days, it is becoming a common trend, with the broken family and single parent situation, we need to learn to communicate with one another and keep value in the family unit, put stability back in the lives of our children.
Another thing is how competitive our world has become, almost to the point of competing against time, but also at some stage we do need to take time to relax and enjoy being alive with a family outing or just simply spending quality time with our children.