“8 Steps To Good Child Behaviour!”
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1. Establish House Rules
Make simple rules for your child. Start with a few things we do
and don't do. Discuss them with your child.
2. Prevention Is Better Than Cure
If you feel that your child's behaviour is beginning to get out
of control, nip it in the bud by distracting your child's
attention onto a positive activity or game.
3. Understand Your Child's Behaviour
Define simply and clearly any difficult behaviour. Keep a diary
of what led up to the behaviour and what immediately followed
it. From this, see if there is a pattern. What are the triggers
and consequences which might be keeping the behaviour going?
DON'T blame yourself but work at changing your responses.
4. Discipline With Short Time-Outs
Try to view discipline in a different way e.g. if a rule is
broken, discipline with a time out a short, quiet time alone,
without play. Alternatively ignore minor behaviour difficulties
as your attention will often inadvertently encourage the very
behaviour you want to stop.
5. Take Five
When tensions and anger rise in you or your child take five.Take five minutes to cool down and to ask yourself, Why am Igetting so angry? Try to identify the real problem, then findthe solution. Always control your temper.
6. Never Strike In Anger
Research has shown that hitting your child does not help, andcan do more damage. Try to avoid striking your child in anger.Smacking is not effective in reducing poor behaviour, as itdoes not teach children good behaviour.
7. Don't Yell or shout at children
Try to avoid yelling at your children in anger. Do not put downyour Children . If they break a rule, tell them what they didwrong and why that makes you angry. Be angry at what they did,NOT at who they are.
8. Get Away
When you feel frustrated, angry or uncontrollable, let yourfeelings out safely away from your children. Get out. Take awalk. Do not stay alone with your children when you areoverwhelmed. Get help and support.
About The Author: How to foster good Child Behaviour athttp://ChildrenBehaviour.eask.info
This free Child behavior toddlers activity and Parent Child Development guide site has articles about Child behavior for positive parenting skills, social skills training for child, positive parenting tips for Toddler Separation Anxiety and childhood depression, parenting advice about childhood anxiety, Child & Divorce, child self esteem, kids sleep problems, including free child development toddlers activity and Parent Child Development resources.
“ Change Your Child's Behavior With Positive Reinforcement”
Free toddlers activity & Parent Child Development guide about Child behavior
Think about your interactions with your children today.
How many things did you notice they did wrong?
What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings?
Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before?
What did you do or say the times before?
Is it working?
How many things did you notice your children did right today?
If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them?
Did you praise or reward them in some way?
If so, then read no further and keep up the good work. If you could use a little work on doing this, then read on.
Let's face it. We parents often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our children's negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if I'm only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."
It is just as important, if not more, to notice our children's positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some may believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards often motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents use rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "I'll give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.
Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is easy. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It may go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel good about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why don't you decide what we have for lunch today."
Focusing on your children's positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you make if you don't already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isn't found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last time your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you were doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.
Some parents find it helpful to make a note and put it where they can see it often. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catch'em doing good." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents can use to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.
Catch your kids being good. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be worth it.
About the Author: Destry Maycock, MSW has had over eleven years experience working with children and families as a professional social worker. Destry has helped hundreds of parents solve a variety of parenting challenges and strengthen their relationships with their children. Destry enjoys developing tools that help parents with the difficult but rewarding duty of raising children. His most recent creations can be found at http://www.parentingstore.com
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