Child Demanding Freedom – Using Discipline Guidelines To Manage Your Toddlers Expectations!

As your child grows, you may find you need to bring out the safety net to protect your one year old who believes he is in total control of the world around him. Allowing him to go only as far as you think is safe!.

Put him to the test by checking his level of responsibilities , start with a simple job like asking him to check if the mail man has been, this will give you a good indication for future freedom.

Don’t give him responsibilities to advanced for him, plan little chores or jobs within his limits that allow more freedom that he can safely handle.

Set The Limits And Have Them Clearly Understood…

Child Demanding Freedom Your child needs to be aware of the limits before he can be expected to know what to do or what you want him to do. Even at the innocent age of one-year-old your child should be told of the “Right,” and excepted rules, to prevent as many “wrong” unacceptable action occurring in the future.

Tell Your Child The Times He Can Step Over The Mark….

Minimize the doom and gloom of a few don’ts by showing and talking to your child about how he is able to do what he wants without getting into trouble for it. For instance, say “you want to go to the park, you must walk with me.”

Give More Freedom As Your Child Shows He Is Safely Using It…If your child is doing the right thing and being responsible, it’s a good idea to extend his freedom a little bit more, tell your child why you are changing them. Make him feel pretty good about the change, tell him, “ because he has shown a great deal of responsibility by respecting the limits, you have earned more freedom.”

Child Demanding Freedom – Solving The Problem…

For times your child has respected the limits of his freedom reward him for his actions. Tell him, “I’m so pleased you are in our yard playing instead of going next door to play. For staying in this yard, I would like to kick the footy around with you for a bit.”

Consequences For Breaking The Limits…

Your child needs to understand testing your limits puts a stop to his fun. Say to him, “I’m sorry to do this, but you left our yard. For doing this you must now stay in the house for the rest of the day.”

Child Demanding Freedom – Constantly Remind…

Make sure you go through with the consequences whenever your child has broken the rules. This helps him learn you do mean what you say. And has an effect on his own actions when he is away from you, knowing very well what you expect from him.

Child Demanding Freedom – Must Not…

Raising your hand to hit your child will only encourage a bad situation to turn worse when he hides from you, making matters harder to get back on track, so its best not to add to the problem.

Slapping your child will bring out many actions, like when your back is turned, and doing things on the sly.

Child Bullying….Big Bullies & Little Victims!

Bullies often get pleasure in teasing, fighting, and generally dominating others, forming a bully-victim relationship.

Bullies as well as the victim may not be aware of the unconscious magnet drawn to one another.

This scene is all so familiar to parents, teachers and school yards all over the world, and is not all that different to the animal world, where the fit and strong are the boss and the rest are ruled.

Child Bullying Child Bullying – The Bully May Be Quite Aggressive:

* Often involving teasing or hurting other children physically.

* Shows a lot of angry behavior or displaying a temper.

* Challenging all adults.

Child Bullying – The Victim Is Normally Quiet, Self-Conscious, Timid Or Just Being Unable To Fit In:

• Finds it difficult to make friends or join in with others.

• Often picked on being teased by other children.

• May show weakness to defend or be easily upset.

Child Bullying – If You Get The Feeling Your Child May Be A Bully:

Have your child learn respect and consideration toward others peoples rights-don’t just expect your child to have knowledge of this.

Constantly reminding your child of how others will feel, also have him understand how important it is not to things to people making them feel bad.

Have your child memorize this saying, “Don’t do to others that you wouldn’t like have done to yourself.”

Make firm rules….
That any nasty, mean or unkind remarks will not be tolerated. Enforcing these rules to be respected at all times.

Teach your child to communicate, to discuss what it is that he wants instead of using the forceful approach on others.

Start taking notes on the degree of bulling, this will help understand what is causing the stress that triggers his actions.

Set good examples in the family home. Don’t use bullying tactics yourself to have your child do what you want.

Most importantly, Praise- making sure you present positive and rewarding remarks for your child’s good or willing behavior. This will help him realize the benefits in his efforts.

Child Bullying – If You Think Your Child May Be A Victim Of Bullying:

Explain to your child that bullies are usually troubled children who may be upset or unhappy- may be with something happening at home.

Tell your child not to feel responsible for the bullies behavior, and that it isn’t your child’s fault. Letting your child also know there is no excuse for this harmful treatment.

Teach your child to turn the tables on the bully- suggestions, show little to no reaction to teasing- by not letting on it is bothering you. Simply but firmly say, “I don’t like what you are saying,” and walk away.

Reassure your child there is no weakness in leaving the situation, to keep away from the bully.

Spare time to listen and talk about your child’s concerns as well as his days events. Taking note that if the situation seems to be getting worse, you now need to step in and take this matter in your own hands.

Build self-esteem….
Suggesting activities your child can be good at, examples- writing, reading, sport, setting the dinner table, helping you with jobs around the home, there are many ideas that your child can do with confidence while also achieving self–esteem.

Remember to praise even small achievements-for they are just as rewarding, especially for acts of courage.

Don’t smother your child, it may effect his ability to protect himself in the future.

A very common question asked….
Is your child dominated at home by other siblings, for example? If so, may be he is used to being treated like a door mat.

Child Bullying – What Actions Confirm Bulling?….

Being Called Names,
Sarcastic Remarks,
Continually Being Put-Down.

Lashing Out At Others,

Harmful Acts.

Deliberately Excluding From A Group,
Spreading Malicious Stories.

Demands To Get What Is Wanted.

Toddlers Discipline – Calling A Time Out!

“Time out” is one of the best ways to discipline children of all ages.

It comes hand in hand when the shouting and crying for whatever reason brings us to breaking point, well, its either Time Out or bring in the big guns for full scale war.

At this point, the only realistic decision when all else has failed “Time Out” discipline technique is the answer, to help save your sanity.

The Method… Toddlers Discipline Time out is simple; the parent approaches the offending junior in a calm quiet, but stern way without losing your temper or any commotion at all.

Then put your child in a room on his own, let him know his behavior won’t be accepted and putting him in Time Out is to give him a chance to think about his behavior.

Remember this practice is not meant as a punishment but to allow time for the unhappy members to cool down.

It is much easier to use this method while things are still in the early stages of declaring war, rather than to patch up casualties from the final blow.

Where Is Best For Time Out?

Once Time Out has been decided, now where best to put him. Well naturally, it would be his own room, or may be on a chair and made to sit their while others are around, but the aggravated child must remain seated until you are happy, his behavior is calmer.

A lot of professionals would frown upon this choice because they think the child will end up having a fear of his room since it is associated with punishment and later cause problems with sleeping.

As much as this sounds very feasible in theory it is not the cause in practice.

Never Lock The Door…!

Time out is not to be used as a punishment; once our child cools off we usually enter the bedroom and ask if he can behave in the correct manner, normally “yes” is the answer and with that he is out of his room.

If by chance the answer is “no,” then leave him in his room and say, “ he is to stay there until such time he can behave himself”.

The door must not be locked; this only gives children the feeling of entrapment, locking the door frightens all children.

Ensure They Can Get Out Of Their Room…

Children need to be able to exit their bedroom once the cooling off has been done at their discretion.

If the door is sticky or has high handles, this needs to be considered to allow your child easy exit the room without any frustration, maybe leave the door open a little or put tape over the door catch, so when your child is ready he can come out of his room without your assistance.

Toddlers Discipline ….Tantrums & Other Tricks!

Tantrums make up a large part of the behavioral irritation suffered by most parents….there are plenty of books and theories on why tantrums are needed; the books can be a very interesting read for the academic parent.

Tantrums are known to be a favorite tool of a toddler they begin not so far from birth and become a regular part of the show until around the age of four to five, by this age most children have worked out that tantrums don’t get them any glory.

Each and every child is born to be different to the next. Some children are hot tempered with a microsecond fuse, and others maybe calm easy to get along with no chance of igniting the fuse.

Toddlers Discipline Not all tantrums are caused by a parent catching their sweet innocent child in mid-stream, but the toddler being frustrated at themselves for their own lack of ability to express how they feel or what they want.

Tantrum Cures:

Curing tantrums is so simple when read from the textbook, but really difficult when you’re faced with the situation and putting into practice, it’s not as easy as it reads.

Two methods are generally suggested:

1. The Firm Cuddle.

2. Pretending To Ignore.

The “Firm Cuddle” Cure:

Many writers believe tantrums are a reaction to a child blowing his stack, in an irritated child, who is full of tension, with a violent manner and is full of rage.

It is also considered that as much as their behavior will be upsetting for the parents, it is by far worse for the unlucky child who is looking for their inner discipline.

The ignoring cure would be thought of as somewhat useless. The firm cuddle would be suggested in this instance, to allow the child a feeling of external control and the warmth of an understanding parent, while he calms himself.

This cure can be very effective with some children, but not so helpful to others.

The “Pretending To Ignore” Cure:

This cure is the most favorable even against the most determined child. We all know how children get bored very easily when stuck inside for the day due to the bad weather; they then revert to trying to gain as much attention from the unsuspecting parent.

Once the child has been told that magic word “No,” it’s like pushing the ignition button the dummy hit’s the floor, followed by the rest of his body slamming to ground level.

Now is the time to hit the ignore switch and let him play out the rest of the act, even if his body does end up on the floor, it will be done with the precision of a professional stuntman to avoid injury.

But, don’t panic, for the show is not over till the screaming and crying has ended.

We might well be as wild as ever on the inside but, we must remain as calm as possible on the outside and not react to this behavior.

99% of children will not get to the stage of hitting the floor, if the ignore button is activated firmly and early enough.

Once this method is chosen parent’s need to use these tactics as well, where possible, divert the child’s attention to something unrelated and enjoyable.

Next, if no success, completely ignore, after the explosion, “time out” is a must for the loss of their control.