Interacting with Strangers – Toddlers Discipline Article on Stranger Danger!

We as parents know the age old “Don’t Take Lollies From Strangers” only too well, the difference is, we know the importance of this advice.

This advice is quite warranted in today’s world.

Our children need to be made aware of how dangerous talking to strangers can be.

What our children need to learn is how to pick potentially dangerous situations and how to react to them.

The last thing we want is our child to be afraid of strangers, but to be wary of their actions.

Interacting with Strangers Interacting with Strangers – Have The Rules Understood…

Make sure your child understands the rules when interacting with a stranger. It is a good idea for both parents to be involved in making the rules and presenting them to the child, once your child has been made aware of the rules.

EXAMPLES…

Rule Number 1.

“Never accept anything from a stranger unless I am there with you.”

Rule Number 2.

“Don’t go anywhere with a stranger, run to the nearest home or shop for help.”

I am sure you have your own rules on this subject, and no matter what, it is of the up most importance your child knows them well.

Interacting with Strangers – Practice Your Rules…

Tell your child to follow the rules you have made, act out different scenarios with your child making sure its totally understood exactly what to do if ever faced with a stranger.

To days world is not the way it was years ago. The shocking truth is, in many cases the people who abuse a child are quite well known to the family and the child.


Interacting with Strangers – Reminding, And Praising…

If your child says hello to a stranger while out shopping, praise your child for having pleasant manners, then ask your child to tell you the rules for the times you are not present.

If your child remembers, highly praise, if not, more practice is needed. Our children’s safety is in our hands, therefore we must do our best to ensure our precious little people understand the rules.

Interacting with Strangers – Setting Boundaries…

Children will pick up on the rules fairly quickly. But will have trouble being able to distinguishing between a potential dangerous situation and harmless ones.

Encourage your child to be polite to strangers. There is nothing wrong with being polite, but, being polite defiantly doesn’t involve taking gifts, lollies or helping the stranger find that cute little puppy they just lost.

Ask your child two or three times a week

Not Sharing – What To Do When Your Toddler Refuses To Share!

The word “mine” is a favorite among the younger children, and is normally used to remind others of their territorial rights.


Under the age of five this four-letter word is very common in the family home, unfortunately this possessive behavior will not let up the child has developed the let go ability and this is usually (between the age of three and four years).

Help your child understand the give and take in this world, with your constant guidance, and enforcing the sharing rule at home with your child will help improve the situation.

Remember to be patient, for it takes time.

Don’t expect your child to instantly reward you with the immediate sharing action. You will know when your child is ready, when you notice your child sharing without your involvement.

Kids Not Sharing Kids Not Sharing – Avoiding The Problem:

Make sure some toys rigorously belong to your child.Before our little ones can give up the word mine and everything attached to it, it is necessary for them to be given the opportunity to possess things.

A good idea when visitors arrive, put your child’s favorite toys and belongings away so as your child is not pressured into sharing with them.

Give Your Child An Example Of You Sharing With Your Friends.

Explain to your child that he is not the only one in the world expected to share his property, mention to your child some of your own sharing with friends, say, “Amanda borrowed my overcoat today,” or, “Peter borrowed my wheelbarrow a couple of days ago.”

Indicate What Sharing Means And How Much You Like To See It:

Let your child know how good it is to see him nicely sharing each time he is allowing another person to play with his things. For example, say, “it makes you feel really happy the way he is sharing and letting his friend have that toy to play with for a few minutes.”

Kids Not Sharing – Place Labels On toys

For the child who is at playgroup, kinder even school it is a good idea to label their belongings, also reassuring your child that his name is clearly marked, so when he shares his things with his friends it is sure to be returned to him.

Kids Not Sharing – Put Labels On Similar Toys:

For twins or children who are close in age, label their toys. You may wish to mark them different so there’s no confusion, this will also help your children feel there is no doubt of their possession.

 

Kids Not Sharing – Sharing Rules:

Before friends come to play, take a moment with your child to explain what is expected of him, enforcing the sharing rule in the company of others. For instance, say to your child, “If you put a toy down, then you have finished playing with it allowing others to play with it. If you still have the toy in your hand, you may continue and keep playing.

You May Witness Your Childs Sharing To Be Better At A Friends House:

Your child may seem to be less protective of ownership, its likely he feels more comfortable sharing with his friend at his house, where he is not defending his own property.

Remember Sharing Has To Do With Development:

Learning to sharing is an achievement that takes time. Generally at the age of three to four years, your child will set the wheels in motion by sharing without being told to.

Solving The Problem:

Stay at a close range when one-and two-year-olds play, as children younger than three years old should not be expected to share without supervision, your assistance may be required to help resolve any unhappy sharing battles, they are too little to deal with the situation without your input.

Kids Not Sharing – Timing Turns:

There comes a time when you need to steep and take action, such as when you get two children yelling out the toy is “mine,” calmly show the children how the give-and-take of sharing works.

Let them know you will be setting a time limit for each of them using an alarm, which will ring, then its the other child’s turn to have the toy. Continue using the timer for as long as needed or hope they get bored with the toy.

Kids Not Sharing – The Last Resort, Time Out For The Toy:

When all else fails, and a certain toy is causing the problem where a child won’t share, remove the toy and place in Time Out.

Let the children know, telling them, “Because the toy was causing a problem.

It is going into Time Out.” If the children continue with the war over the toy after Time Out, remove the toy again and again to make them understand that not sharing the toy, means neither one of them get to play with it.

Kids Not Sharing – Keeping Your Cool:

Don’t Get Upset:

Keep in mind; your child will learn the sharing rule as he develops the understanding, always encourage the meaning of the sharing rule, but not by force. When you notice, your child sharing, it will be obvious he is ready to do so.

Don’t Penalize For The Occasional Slip Up Of Not Sharing:

If it’s only on the odd occasion your child is not happy to share, it’s a good idea to remove the object that is causing this behavior, rather than putting your child through a lecture.

This sorts out the problem, putting the blame on the cause and not your child.

Toddlers Discipline – How to Deal with Swearing or Cursing Toddlers!

Many Parents know of and have heard those unexpected words from our children when they are upset hurt or angry.


And its not as though we haven’t heard them before or, even used some of them our self, but when we hear such words come rolling for the sweet lips of our toddler, it brings somewhat a new shock to us.

Our children pick them up in all sorts of places, from school, day care, television, over hearing conversations, in the family home and many other places.

We must do our best to shield our children from hearing this sort of talk in the family home, as we don’t have any control other places.

Toddlers Discipline Sooner or later we are going to hear our children speak with a forked tongue.

When we hear these disrespectful words roll out of nowhere, making the atmosphere very uncomfortable, the best reaction is not to fly off the handle and make it worse.

Simply say nothing, and carry on the conversation as though it wasn’t heard by you.

Your child will either think he has got away with it or, he will realize he went to far this time, because your reaction wasn’t instant like other times.

An hour or two later, call your child aside and then have your bit to say, don’t threaten your child, but make it firmly understood quickly and leave the room before explanations begin.

The fact you said nothing to start with, will leave your child with time to think about what he said, and when called aside later he will know exactly why. Nor does it condone what he has said, regardless of the choice of words.

Children that swear in the company of their parents, normally get an on the spot reaction and this leaves the child with another way to gain attention if the others fail.


When our toddler swears its not considered as bad as our five or six year old, the younger child is merely copying from others and has no idea of the meaning.

Although your toddler is not aware he is swearing or saying anything bad, but he is aware of the attention he receives when using it.

Toddlers have a great sense of humor, mimicking us at our best and of course our worst, not that we are amused, when done at the wrong time can be a moment of complete embarrassment.

As for the older child it is serious and must not be allowed to continue, explain to your child there are other ways to let his feelings be known apart from swearing, with your support and understanding he will do a turn around.

If all else fails, Time Out may be your only break through with getting your child to understand the consequences of his unacceptable use of words.

Use the Time Out action consistently, sooner or later your child will find other ways to get your attention rather than swearing.

Article contributed by Theresea Hughes, creator of
http://free-toddlers-activity-and-discipline-guide.com a site dedicated to providing parenting resource articles for toddlers activity & child discipline with positive parenting tips, free kids games, recipes, arts & crafts, including articles about potty training, temper tantrums, kids sleep problems, parent tips for fussy eaters, including free child development toddlers activity and toddlers discipline parenting resources.

DEFINITION OF SWEARING BY CHILDREN
Swearing is cursing, using profane, abusive, offensive, dirty, or foul language, or making obscene gestures. Young children usually swear to experiment with language, while adults often swear out of anger.

Toddlers Discipline WHY DO KIDS SWEAR?
• Children sometimes use unacceptable language without knowing the meaning of the words. If they hear swearing from other children, adults, television, movies, music, or from parents, they are likely to repeat it.

• Sometimes children use unacceptable words without knowing that they aren’t supposed to. If it’s acceptable for adults in the house to swear, children may assume that it is acceptable for them, too.

• Children under five often swear to get a reaction. Although they may not know what the words mean, they do have an understanding that certain off-limit words are used with more strength and feeling, and carry a power that most other words don’t have. If a word gets a strong reaction, they will be likely to use it again.

• Typically, children will experiment with swearing and testing the language limits at ages four and five.

• Children need help learning appropriate words and actions to use when they are angry or frustrated.

Some Suggested Approaches to dealing with child Swearing problems:

DON’T DO THIS:
Washing a child’s mouth out with soap and making a child taste or eat soap may be hazardous to your child’s health. Some children are allergic to soap and become ill or have a serious reaction. Soap can be even more dangerous when eaten, so don’t ever use this old housewives tale as a remedy.

Use your RESTRAINT
Make it very clear to your child that inappropriate language is not allowed – EVER. If your child swears you need to stay very calm, and tell them calmly that those words are not alright to use. Prevent swearing by other family members, or the child will continue to copy their elders.

Don’t give your child attention for swearing

You could choose to let your child experiment at home, but tell your child that you don’t like the words. Reacting strongly will only give your child the attention they seek, and entice your child to use the words again. If your child uses bad language in public, consider setting up a discipline consequence. Before you go out again, discuss together what will happen if your child uses inappropriate words. Try to help your child remember if they slip up and swear and praise your child when they remember to behave well, without swearing.

FRUSTRATION WORD GAMES
Ignore swearing, but notice acceptable language, and create your own fun words to replace unacceptable words. If your child is using bad words to get your reaction, then ignore it and don’t give them any attention. DO give your child attention when using acceptable language.

Consider making up your own “frustration language.” Have fun with it and think up silly words to use as expressions of frustration or “swear words”, the sillier sounding the better. The silliness will help ease the tension while allowing a child to express frustration or anger with more acceptable words.

BETTER WAYS TO DEAL WITH ANGER
If your child is swearing out of anger, help them find better ways to show their feelings. Let your child know that it’s all right to be mad and to talk about it: “It’s all right that you are really mad. Do you want to tell me what makes you mad?”

Give your child alternative actions or words to show their feelings: simple things like punch a bed pillow, or say, “I’m really, really mad,” or “That’s not fair!”

If your child is frustrated and needs help, teach them ways that they can let you know they are angry, that won’t make you angry as well!

WHARE KIND OF ROLE MODEL ARE YOU?
Show your child what kindness looks like. Help your child be aware of the feelings of others and the impact that good words and bad words have on people, but don’t punish your child for simple mistakes.

As children learn from the role models around them and everything they see and hear around them, make sure that you and the people around your child are kind to each other, in order for your child to have a good example to follow.

When is it time for you to Get More Help with a difficult child?

Children typically grow and learn new skills in their own time and at their own pace within the wide range of what is normal.

Sometimes, children need a bit of extra help to keep their development on track, or to stay healthy and happy.

Sometimes, parents need help providing for a child’s needs or sorting out the best approaches to parenting.

Consider getting help if your child Shows little or no improvement after you try an approach to help change the swearing for at least two months.

You are the expert when it comes to your child.

If you have a concern, trust your instinct and find someone trained to help you: health care providers, early intervention teams, mental health professionals, parent educators and consultants, or telephone help-line staff.

Consider talking it over with any friends and family that you feel are doing an excellent job with bringing up their children.

We are constantly adding new articles about Child Behaviour Problems to the site, so if you have a tried & true strategy or free resource that we can tell parents about, Please add your tips and comments or articles about this in the submission box below!

Difficult Child – If You Have A Naughty Child, Who Do We Blame?

At the beginning of the nineteenth century, a lot of professionals had the opinion that children who misbehaved came from “bad stock”, they also said these children of ”bad blood lines ”were simply “born criminals” due to “family traits.”


As the century passed into the next, the thoughts from qualified professionals were, these children are a product of their environment.

Mothers of the 50’s and 60’s era wore the brunt of the criticism due to inadequacy of their ability to raise decent children.

Regardless of the style of home security and stability, it seemed have no affect on the outcome of these opinions. Therefore the mother remains guilty no matter what the circumstances maybe.

Difficult Child Difficult Child – The Senseless Fifty’s:

The attitude of some throughout the fifty’s the period where mothers were quite fearful of psychological abuse.

There is real evidence that this heredity exists from the time the mother gives birth, there however, different personalities even in twins.

In one cot you can have a quiet, loving, affectionate baby whereas in the cot next door is the twin who is irritable, crying, tantrums and so on, genetically they are identical but as far as their personalities go, they are like chalk and cheese.

The difference in the personalities is more to do with heredity of one or both parents.

Difficult Child – The New View Of The Eighties:

It is also shown that heredity has a major part in the make up of a baby’s temperament and personality.

As much as past times have blamed bad breeding and an assortment of other things, it’s believed the hereditary side only gives parents a base to work with.

The rest is generally a baby becoming a product of the environment in which they are raised.

With each child born, having their own personality and requirements, parents who have a quiet peaceful lifestyle and have given birth to a baby quite the opposite, need to learn how to change the way they handle the difficult times.

Slow teaching and close nurturing is the only way to teach children of any age, keeping in mind to be in touch with each child’s individual needs and guide them accordingly.

The use of force will 99% of the time result in conflict and in most cases the child will only grow to be frightened of the offending parent and not even learn the point you are trying to get across.

Learn to be supportive and help them through their difficulties, as well as being fair and understanding to their needs.


Difficult Child – Other Genetic Influences:

Children tend to show strong traits passed down the generic ladder as with their attitude, and behavior, which is somewhat very similar to that of their parents.

Sometimes it’s as though our children come pre programmed with our weaknesses, to use at their discretion. We are the ones who give them this power, in the way we react to their actions.

At the sign of panic or unrest, our children pick up on this and store their action and our reaction in their memory bank for future reference.

Our children seek out our weakness and embrace this with future habits for themselves.

As we go about our daily lives our children watch and learn from us, they portray us, as we are their roll models.

Some parents who are disorganised or panic quite easily, you will normally find the child to be similar. But we see it as the child over reacting and needing attention.

Even parents who lead a very active lifestyle will experience the “go juice” in their child, as they have been taught by us to keep on the move, but when its time to relax a little and our child remains “on the go” we then see this as a problem in them.

But we have encouraged this on the “on-the-go” lifestyle; therefore need to look at ourselves, maybe a little reprogramming of ourselves is what is needed here.

Difficult Child – Is Our Child’s Behavior Worse Than Ours Was?

Some time back when we were children, there didn’t seem to be anywhere near the problem with children as there does to day.

A lot of professionals believe the difference in our children to day, is more to do with the toxin’s we give our children, such as the artificial colors and preservatives in foods, etc…

But there are also other’s who don’t follow these ideas, believing it has more to do with the fact that when we were young, problems were not as spoken about due to the fact the mother is to blame for the behavior of the child.

There also wasn’t the support and understanding of child psychology as there is today. This alone was enough to deter parents from seeking outside help.

Misconduct in our children has also increased a lot because of the insecurity the family unit carries.

These days, it is becoming a common trend, with the broken family and single parent situation, we need to learn to communicate with one another and keep value in the family unit, put stability back in the lives of our children.

Another thing is how competitive our world has become, almost to the point of competing against time, but also at some stage we do need to take time to relax and enjoy being alive with a family outing or just simply spending quality time with our children.