Toddlers Discipline – Fighting Kids…..And How To Manage Them!

From the dawn of time, young cubs, young tigers and young humans have enjoyed fighting.

Within the animal world it is all about fitness, building skills, muscle, improving to the point of precision in the name of survival.

In children it is more so to obtain rank among siblings and then the rest of society.

This inner habit can certainly cause a bit of unrest between family members, not to mention the parents and how they deal with their children at war.

The fine-tuned art of fighting with siblings is really only beginning at toddler age, but never really gets out of hand.

Toddlers Discipline Once school age is reached, both parties are more like trained combat troops competing at who can get under who’s skin the quickest, while the parents are at wits end trying to control the situation.

Fighting normally happens when children are tired or bored, and there is nothing much else to do, but to start a fight to break the boredom and get the parents attention.

The majority of fighting among toddlers is a combined effort of fishing with the right bait and when they have one hooked, see how long they can reel them in before changing bait again.

Other children have the ability to control like a dragnet, and catch everyone and do the same, almost to the point of being able to start a fight in an empty room.

The sly plotter will sit and wait, for example, on the couch and when the unsuspecting sister strolls by, at the last minute a quick foot is deployed, and down she goes, mission one complete.

Never mind the poor family cat that the brother has sitting on his lap asleep, when a blown up bag is popped close by.

These little antics are all part of the pre-fight warm-up.

Some children get bullied a lot and nine times out of ten, they are the passive quiet children with the long fuse.

On the other hand we have the quiet child with a short fuse who reacts quickly when provoked and usually will do their block and hit to hurt, even though, this child won’t mean to hurt but wants the torment to stop and this seems to be the quickest and easiest way to make it happen.

As much as this child didn’t mean to injure the other child, he will now be tagged as the aggressive type.

Some children, just like their parents don’t stop winning and winging, even about things nobody has any control over.

A prime example, of some injustice from a six year old is, how come she gets to stay up later, being a twelve year old she is allowed to stay up a little later.

We can never stop the fighting completely, but we must minimize it where possible.

In saying that, we should really only intervene when the war becomes full scale, we need to stay out of it until this stage.

Children will sort out order of rank, whether we stick our noses in or not.

Remain aware of the situation so if it sounds like it’s getting out of hand, take your children and do the fair thing by separating the two in different rooms to one another, giving them time to cool down. Five minutes or so is a reasonable amount of time.

Then explain why we can’t dismember our brother or sister and what the consequences are for doing so, Let them know the correct course of action you expect from them in the future.

The biggest thing that usually starts fights even in adults is the green-eyed monster, jealousy, followed closely by tension and insecurity.

This is normally associated with older children around school age; you will find usually the school bully or the classroom clown will have been branded these names for an underlying reason not apparent to many.

These children usually have social learning or concentration problems, not that they are just bad children.

These children find it more difficult to compete with those of the grade and become tense, stressed and nervous, they then behave in a protective manner being the classroom clown or the schoolyard bully as the front page of who they really are.

Toddler Toilet Potty Training ….Out Of Nappies & Into The Big Wide World!

Toilet Potty Training:
The time has come to get your toddler out of nappies, one of the next decisions is deciding whether to use a potty or the toilet. It’s not really that important which one is chosen as long as the method of their use gets the results.
No child can be trained until a particular nerve pathways have adequately matured, a process that’s out of our hands, control over the bladder and the bowels begin around eighteen months to two years of age.

It would be fair to say, that training your child before the age of two is a waste of time. Most toilet training problems today, is likely to be that of unrealistic and deceptive advice.

Many parents like to start their children on the potty, and a lot of toddlers rather the potty than the toilet for it is easy to use and being portable it is able to be used in any room at the time.

A good time to start training your toddler for potty use is around half-way through his second year. By this age he has control over his bowel movements and possibly being aware of a full bladder and able to let his parents know in time.

Start with the potty training program in the morning. After the morning meal , sit your child on the potty. If there is a fuss with sitting on the potty have some favorite toys ready for the potty training session only.

Every potty session should last no longer than five minutes at a time. Remain with your child for the first few times, to assist when needed. After a few times of your child being aware of the routine, leave him sit on his own but stay in a reassuring distance.

After five minutes, lift your child from the potty. If your child has used the potty, then express your approval. If not, let your child know you are pleased he tried, tell him “Let’s try again tomorrow.”

The toilet potty training can be encouraged through out the day, but not so that your child feels he spends a good part of his day on the potty. If your child starts to object to sitting on the potty, leave the training for about four weeks and try again.

Toilet Potty Training:
Many parents often start toilet potty training far too early, mostly motivated by the mother-in-law comparing the days of her own parenting. This then makes you feel you are not doing it the right way, but the fact of it all is you are his mother and only you know when the time is right.

But then there is the independent tiny tot who wants to be just like the big people, and use the toilet. Independence is a positive step for our toddler, making sure safety comes first, using a temporary step to assist with him getting up to the toilet, its also a good idea to place a child’s small toilet seat under the adult seat. This allows the child more stability and less fear of falling into the toilet bowl.

Toilet Potty Training – When The Time Is Right…
Encouragement should always be apart of the training program. Don’t use the words “hurry up,” as it puts the pressure on your child making him uncomfortable, don’t fight. Just relax.

PRAISE is also important at this stage. For example, praising your child for telling you he needs to go “ wee’s.” When a toilet accident occurs don’t get up set, be calm and tell him you understand and he did the right thing telling you.

It is very important that parents always appear to be relaxed, not showing the more serious side of how they are feeling. If signs of anxiousness are present by the parent, its possible your child may become nervous and very likely to object to the whole toilet potty training idea.

Remember not to flush the toilet while your brave little “champ” is still on it, it often causes a fearful fright and delays the training process, and any achievements made are likely to be lost, for the time being.

Changing Bad Habits in Normally Nice Children!

Some of the most common problems we as parents come up against will be covered in this section.


Changing Bad Habits – Whingeing…

The whingeing child, is among one of the most likely complaints to be heard from parents, this behavior can be quite unnerving at the best of times. When our children are unwell, tired or teething we expect to hear it often.

Boys generally take the cake in the area of being overactive, not to mention bad behavior, but as far as the whingeing goes, it seems to be the girls winning the race hands down.

Changing Bad Habits There are a lot of choices in a child’s ability to whine. You will find some children like to get straight down to business and go of at full noise with no holes barred, and others that start the process as slowly as possible, like a torturer from the medieval days, making the performance last a lifetime.

Some children seem to be lacking a basic ingredient called “sense”. They know exactly when to start, but lack the sense of when enough is enough.

There are some basic steps for the treatment of whingeing:

1. Divert Your Child’s Attention.
2. Ignore Him As Much As Possible.
3. Time Out In Their Room.

4. Change TheScenery.

There are lots of diversionary tactics around the house to be taken full advantage of.

For example, “The cheeky cat from next door laying in the sun on top of the shed” or “How would you like to go and get the letters from the letterbox”.

There is always a responsible job or something exciting for children to do, just emphasize the responsibility or the importance and usually the child will forget all about what they were even going on about in the first place.

If taking their minds off the problem doesn’t work, ignoring the whingeing is the next step.

Everyone has a limit to the amount of persistent whingeing they can cope with, but pretending to ignore it tells children it is not going to help them get whatever it is they want.

Just keep in mind, the point at which you break is not to be crossed, crossing the line makes for the home being turned into a battleground not to mention undoing the work already put in and an unhappy family.

The next step is to calmly place the offending child in Time Out as mentioned earlier. Time Out will allow your child time to cool down as well as yourself.

Once you have been through the 4 steps and all have failed, there is only one left, aside from seeking professional help, and that is to scoop up the offender and head for the outdoors.

Once a whingeing child has escaped from the confines of the house their attention has a great many things to be fixed upon.

Changing Bad Habits – Truant Toddlers…

Parents will find at some time or another their child has found something else interesting apart from being dragged around shopping, and little did we know have gone to investigate further, and yes it can happen in the blink of an eye.

Most toddlers are never too far from the safety of Mum or Dad and will not entertain the idea of strolling down the street while Mum is stuck at the checkout.

While most are clingy, there are still a small percentage who don’t mind giving Mum and Dad a workout by means of a nice little game of hide and seek at the local department store which just so happens to have five floors.

Fortunately most of these escapees grow out of this habit within a six-month period due to the realization of the dangers.

Some children take years to rid this torturous habit, there are not many options available apart from parents to keep themselves in good condition and be vigilant at all times.

There is a less favorable but very effective way of stopping the runaway child and that is to fit them up with a pair of toddler reigns or a leash type arrangement.

Changing Bad Habits – Impulsive Children.

Children are not well known for their forethought at the best of times, quite a few are said to be impulsive.

The best way to describe an impulsive child is one who opens the car door without looking or running onto the road without a second thought or concern of this action.

Impulsive children act first without even being aware of the consequence existing.

If all this is compiled together with a lack of sense, then it is almost impossible to let the child out of sight.

Children with a lack of sense alone, are found not to have the ability to learn from their mistakes quickly, producing the same type of behavior as the previous few days even after being told, is not acceptable.

With this problem, there is little you can do except persist with the praising of good deeds and plenty of communication.

Children grow out of this phase, some sooner than others.