Controlling a child’s aggression

Aggression could mean behavior aimed at harming or injuring another person. Further qualifications to the definition may be the action is hostile and usually unprovoked. It exhibits deliberate unfriendly behavior.

Aggression may be direct or indirect. For instance, refusal to perform a task may be construed as indirect aggression. It does not directly harm or injure the person but in the long run may cause serious harm if the child continuously refuses to do tasks requested of him.

Children may display signs of aggression but are actually being playful. They watch television shows and movies and learn to be aggressive in their actions. They see media report violence in an excited manner and think it’s acceptable to be violent.

Normally, they do not intend to cause harm or injury to the other person. There may be instances when the child demonstrates aggressive tendencies. Aggression may be due to mental disorders and other physiological factors. Noise, heat, pain and insults can aggravate the situation and make the child more aggressive.

Some people may shrug off the aggression aspect and assume the child is trying to assert themselves. Assertion is different in that there is no intention to harm or injure anyone.


Children can turn their aggression towards their peers, adults or even towards themselves, becoming self-destructive and getting depressed. Genetics may have some bearing on the aggressiveness of the child.

Some people recommend children should release their aggressive feelings through physical exercises and active sports, like boxing and martial arts. Although it is good for their physical development, the rationale behind their physical exercises is not right. Children should not fight off aggressive emotions by becoming aggressive in their actions, even if their aggressive actions are directed towards competitors.


Some recommend the proper way of stopping aggression in children is to be close to the child and offer a helping hand. Allow the child to pour out his sentiments and feelings. Be emphatic to their feelings and show your concern and love at all times.

Open a communication channel with the child. Encourage the child to be open and frank about their inner feelings and emotions. Explain that you are there to help them and not to chastise or discipline them.

Children stop sharing their feelings when they notice it will produce disciplinary actions. Explain to the child that anger is a negative feeling and should not be kept within the person. They should learn to let go of their anger and bring peace and tranquility into their inner selves.

Tell them it is not right to harm or injure other people. Observe their reactions. Allow them to watch shows depicting violent behavior and explain that the manner depicted in the show is not proper. You cannot hide the world from them but you can guide them through the world and show them the good and bad values.

Don’t force the values and principles on them. Allow them to choose their values but guide them through the selection. Don’t apply physical punishment on the child. It will isolate them and make them act more aggressively. Understanding their childhood tendencies towards aggression may help you interact with them better once they become teenagers.


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