Dealing With A Child Who Steals

Stealing is a grave misconduct that most children will experience during some point in their childhood life. Taking something without permission and claiming ownership over it is an apt description to help your child get a picture on what stealing means. Stealing must be dealt promptly and accordingly to prevent it from becoming a habit.

Why is your child stealing?

Different children steal for different reasons. Before you jump to accusing and punishing your child because of stealing, you must first know exactly why your normally behaved child would do such a thing.

~ Unmet needs: You may be part of a family that has to live on below minimum wage income. A hungry child may steal food or some other form of sustenance to ease hunger. Or he would steal in order to sell or trade that item for food. Of course, using food may be an extreme example, it could just as easily be a popular pair of shoes or a game.

~ Need for attention or rebellion: other children try to get their parents’ attention through stealing. They know that if they are caught stealing at school, the principal will have to call his parents who are so busy at work, they barely know of his existence.

A family that is too rigid and requires strict adherence to household rules can cause a child to become delinquent. In the same light, a child who is always abused and mistreated will also steal as a way of establishing control over his life and to prove that he can do anything.

~ Low of self-esteem: often, children who start with stealing are those who are obscure and unknown. To get noticed, they steal things that are considered flashy and popular. They may even resort to giving those items that they stole to other kids in the false belief that it would help him gain friends.

~ Peer pressure: children often do things because they were taunted or challenged by friends. A simple dare to pilfer a candy bar from a store can be a rite of passage to a “cool” group.

Eventually, this can go up to stealing other increasingly expensive stuff. In a similar light, your child may be forced to do so because he is being bullied by this “cool” group. Or worse by someone older, bigger, and tougher than him that threatens to do (and even do) bodily harm on your child.

Facing The Fact

Resolving this issue is not as easy as it may seem. You simply do not jump on your child’s throat and scream profanities and threats to stop him from doing this. Your child will only do his utmost best not to get caught while still doing the deed.

Make sure first that you know the reason why your child is stealing. If it is something that you can remedy, do it. If it is something that you cannot change, talk to your child and try to compromise several ways to make sure that you help him control the compunction or the need to steal.

Do not accuse your child immediately if you were told that your child was caught stealing. Before you rally among other parents in condemning your child, listen to what your child has to say first.

If your child is stealing because of some psychological instability due to family discord, he needs your support at this trying time. You must listen to what he has to say. As a parent, you must support your child first before you listen to what others are saying. Establishing trust will help your child be more honest and admit his mistakes.

Unless you caught your child stealing, do not accuse your child of doing the deed. It may be hard to refrain yourself especially when you see stuff missing in your house, or at worse, your wallet. Your child will only resent you more, will still do the deed in a justification that since he’s being accused of doing it, might as well do it.

If you do catch your child stealing, act on it promptly but calmly and reasonably. Have him sit down and ask him why he’s doing it. Do not lecture him too much about it. Long, drawn out lectures will only make your child miss the point and all will just fly by him.

Just tell him that stealing is wrong and you would have given him what he needs if you were able to do so, or if what he needed was reasonable.

Consequences must be applied to enforce your beliefs and values about stealing. If what he stole was from a store, have him return the item and make him apologize to the manager and promise not to do so again.

If the item cannot be returned because the wrapping was thrown out, go back with him in the store and pay for it. It must be understood between you that the money used to pay for the item will come from his allowance. Additional chores inside the house can also be given as a form of consequence to what your child has done.

Address the deed as it is and do not try to use pleasant adjectives to belie the fact. Call stealing as stealing and have your child understand that it is not tolerated at home. Compulsive stealing needs professional intervention.

A psychiatrist that is appropriate for your child’s age will help you and your child resolve the issue. Support your child throughout the therapy by showing trust and believing that he will be able to cease stealing.



Free Parenting tip toddler website to help you use positive parenting in your Toddlers Discipline and child’s development.





Find hundreds of free toddlers activities & games, toddler arts & crafts, kids easy recipes, free kids books for bedtime reading and help to learn Good Parenting Skills at our website http://free-toddlers-activity-and-discipline-guide.com