The Art of Conversation Saves a Family and Grows Great Communicators.

by Trudi Hollinsworth
(Sydney, NSW)

When was the last time you had a great family conversation? For us it had been a long time. Our teenagers responded to questions by emitting Neanderthal grunts, and never made much attempt to speak unless it was to ask to borrow the car or money, I was on everyone’s case and my conversation consisted of trying to get everyone where they were supposed to be. My husband was all but silent and our two younger children never stopped talking (but rarely listened).

As an ex-teacher now running a small, education-based business, I read education journals and it’s horrifying that research shows that more children are starting school with verbal language delays, decreased vocabularies and poor speech. This is widely blamed on their decreased exposure to conversation, in particular conversation with adults within the family.

With much modern communication taking place by e-mail and SMS, and with TV, computer games and games consoles providing recreation for many children, they are simply less exposed to real-life conversation.

Language delays and deficits are a natural progression.

Without adequate language skills, children have difficulty developing their ideas. Initially, verbal skills are simply used to express needs and wants. With development, children become able to communicate far more and begin to discuss their inner state, and also recognize the feelings and ideas of others.

Children who communicate well by the time they start school have a head start in life. They are more confident, happier, make friends more easily and are less likely to be bullied or marginalised.

We have found a fabulous “game”, TAOC® The Art of Conversation, which has changed our family life for the better in so many ways. Rather than the television, computers, we turn off the screens for at least a couple of evenings a week while we have dinner and we communicate on all sorts of topics. We are finding our relationships are better, because we understand each other.

Even our teenagers speak out, and I think this is because this game sets guidelines, everyone is heard and everyone speaks. It’s not about one-upping each other, or smart remarks, it’s about things that matter. I’m making it sound very serious, but we have lots of laughs too.

TAOC® provides a framework within which communication can be developed and nurtured and oral and listening skills can be practiced and enjoyed.

The family dinner table used to be the place where the day’s experiences and thoughts were shared. Ideas could be held up to the light and tested in a safe and caring environment. Feedback could be provided in a non-judgmental way. Today, many families eat dinner in front of television, or family members eat at different times due to other commitments, so the exchange of ideas and thoughts may not occur.

Without these exchanges, relationships are more prone to breakdown.

TAOC® will not only help children to become confident speakers and attentive listeners, it is actually great fun for people of all ages. It’s costs around £10.00 and it’s probably the best ten pounds you will ever spend!

(Even the dysfunctional Christmas family gathering was fun).

It’s a matter of never giving up on understanding each other; creating some lasting memories and building rock solid relationships that stand up through the tough times.

Available at all good bookshops, the ISBN is useful.
ISBN 9780980345537
www.taocuk.com ©Trudi Hollinsworth 2011 careerpath6@gmail.com