“Split Shift Parenting”
Free toddlers activity & Parent Child Development guide parenting article

by Deidra Ramirez

For a dual income home, the arrival of a child leads to one unavoidable question: "Who's going to watch baby?" Many parents automatically turn to daycare, others to family members, and some simply forego their careers for the chance to raise their children themselves.

For those families who aren't fortunate enough to be able to have one parent stay at home full time, there is an alternative. It's "Split-Shift Parenting." A split-shift parenting arrangement allows for children to reap the benefit of having a stay-at-home parent at all times. Yet the dual income they have become accustomed to is not sacrificed.

In terms of education, children also benefit from the one-on-one homework assistance that at-home parents can give, primarily at the elementary level, as opposed to attempting to complete homework on their own in a childcare setting.

Children get more out of their homework when they do it with an adult because they can correct their answers immediately and learn why they were wrong. For most children who complete their homework alone, in an after-school childcare facility, it is an exercise in futility. Children tend to rush through the homework in order to be able to play with their friends, thus not paying full attention to the task at hand. While a child can complete an assignment alone, having a parent there to check over it will benefit the child in the long run.

When a child is in daycare 40+ hours per week, parents soon realize that their youngster's impressionable life is being molded by someone other than themselves. In a split-shift-parenting household, the primary exposure is solely to parents, and outside exposure is at their discretion.

One benefit of this arrangement is that fathers are forced to take a more active role in child rearing. From cooking and cleaning to baths and homework, fathers must be hands on to survive in a split-shift parenting household. The children also benefit from the qualities that they are exposed to from both parents. Mothers tend to encourage the nurturing and loving characteristics, while fathers tend to encourage the risk taking and adventurous characteristics in children.

Financially, the amount that can be saved trough split-shift parenting is tremendous. Full-time childcare for a three-year-old child can range anywhere from $200-$700 a month, depending on which U.S. city you live in. After-school and summer camp programs can just as expensive, if not more.

Parents can also save on decreased doctor visits. Studies have shown that children, who are in daycare, also have increased frequency in illnesses due to exposure to more germs in daycare facilities, leading to more costly doctor bills for parents.

While exposure to illnesses at an early age can build up a child's immune system before entering elementary school, it can also cost a parent quite a few missed days of work.

As a split-shift parent for three years, I can tell you first hand that there are as many disadvantages as advantages to this arrangement. However, if you address these issues beforehand, it can save you many headaches in the future.

 Discuss with your partner the effect that split-shift parenting will have on your relationship

 Determine whether the arrangement is something you can maintain for a long-term or short-term period.

 Determine whether this type of arrangement will affect your current job.

 Decide whether you are willing to pursue a different career that will allow you to participate in split-shift parenting.

 Decide on when you and your partner will have "alone" time.

 Arrange times when the entire family can spend time together.

 Discuss the division of household duties, children's schedules and expectations for your partner.

Not every family's careers or lifestyle will allow them to have split-shift parenting households. Many of the answers to the questions above will help you to determine whether you are able to make the change to this type of parenting arrangement.

Deidra Ramirez is a wife, mother of two boys and a Marketing & Public Relations specialist who has practiced split-shift parenting for 3 years.

Kid Multiplication

by Debbie Williams

Working from home can be challenging at best, and even more so for parents of young children. I launched my own home business when my son was a toddler, in the quake of the "terrible two's".

Can you imagine the challenges I faced every single day, trying to write, make updates to my web site, and conduct business on the telephone? Yes, I'm sure you can, since many of you are in the midst of this struggle yourselves. I'm an organizing consultant, and for years I have studied the best books on time management, multi-tasking, clutter control, and everything else pertaining to life organization. But nothing prepared me for the challenge of being a full-time parent and running a business all at once!

There are certain truths in the life of a parent: the phone is a child magnet, your child has ESP, sending when you have a major deadline, and children have an unlimited need for attention. Why try to fight it, or escape the inevitable? After a frustrating unproductive week, I decided if I couldn't beat them, I'd join them. I'll be happy to share my secret formula with you if you're interested. So take a caffeine break, put on your reading glasses, and learn from another entrepreneur who's right down here in the trenches with you.

The phone always seems to ring when you are in the midst of a discussion with your child, or during a tantrum. Needless to say, this is a terrible time to take a business call (or personal one for that matter). Use your voicemail to screen the call, returning it when things calm down and you can focus on your work.

Create a plan to be implemented when you need to discuss important business on the telephone. If you are making an out-going call, this is somewhat easier; if the call is inbound and unexpected, it's time for a Phone Call Alert (this is not a drill) Plan. The rules differ from house to house, depending on the nature and age of your kids, but there are common-sense rules anyone can follow: whisper, don't interrupt, and get busy.

Busy Hands - Provide a busy box of activities for your kids to use only during your phone calls and at no other time. This keeps things interesting and fresh for them, and buys you some time. Young kids are entertained with crayons, coloring books, markers, paper, blocks, drawing tablets, pencils, magna-doodle, PlayDoh, books, and small toys. Quiet toys are best. Leave the noisy battery operated ones in the playroom for now. Older kids can watch a movie or play video games on mute setting.

Time's Up - Use a kitchen timer in your office so for your child to monitor his progress. Explain that when the timer dings you will be finished with your work, ready to spend some quality time with him.

Red Light/Green Light - Monitor traffic in your office without upsetting family members by making light of it. Design a traffic light for your office door (or doorway), and explain the rules with your kids and spouse. Red light means stop, do not enter while I'm working. Yellow light means enter quietly and slowly. Green light means come on in and visit. If your children are old enough to read, make a simple double-sided sign with Stop/Go or Do Not Enter/Enter.

Do the Math - Lastly and most importantly, implement a basic yet magical math equation I learned from my young son: if you give them 5, they give you back 15. Stop and give full attention to your child, making eye contact and spending quality time with him. Read a story, listen to his long-winded fairy tale, help him make a snack, or just let him sit nearby to help you check your email.

After a short break with you, he'll be ready to run and play blocks, watch a Disney movie, or explore the cavern in his closet. Usually this will last up to 30 minutes, depending on the attention span and creativity of your own child. Amazingly, after interviewing dozens of parents of children from 18 months to age 10, I have found this math equation to be true and factual.

Regardless of the nature of your business, its importance, or a looming deadline, if you use simple screening tools, enforce house rules, and do the math, you'll find yourself being more productive as a business owner and parent. Your system will be streamlined and you may even create some time you didn't know you had. Now that IS magic!

Debbie Williams is an organizing coach and founder of the online organizing site Organizedtimes.com . She is the author of Home Management 101: A Guide for Busy Parents and Put Your House in Order: A Study Course for Christian Home Managers available through AmazonCopyright 2002, Debbie Williams

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