The 21st Century Parent
Free toddlers activity & Parent Child Development guide parenting article

Copyright © 2004, Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC

John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He’s married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12.

His wife works part-time as a nursing assistant, and they both do as much as they can to parent their children well.

John has developed serious doubts about his ability to be an effective parent in the last couple of years. All of his kids are involved in after school activities, and his demands at work are greater than they’ve ever been.

John’s family seems rushed all the time, and theroutines in the morning and at bedtime are almostalways chaotic. He often doesn’t have the energy whenhe gets home from work to spend quality time with hiskids, and he feels his relationships with them aregrowing more distant. In particular, he’s strugglingwith his teenage daughter’s behavior. John feels he haslittle in common with her at this stage in their lives.

Welcome to the life of an American parent in the 21stcentury.

There are many reasons that parenting today is moredifficult than in years past. Here are a few of them:

• The typical, middle income married couple family works 3,885 hours – that’s an increase of 247 hours, or nearly six weeks, more than their counterparts ten years ago.

• Working couples lost an average of 22 hours a week of family and personal time between 1969 and 1999.

• In the last three decades, American families are eating 33% fewer meals together as a family.

• In 1990, the American advertisers spent 100 million dollars advertising to children. In 2000, they spent 2 billion dollars in their advertising to children.

Alvin Toffler once said, “Parenthood remains thegreatest single preserve of the amateur.” For toolong, parents have taken on the most important jobthey’ll ever have with little or no training. Parentscan’t afford to be amateurs anymore. They must armthemselves with the knowledge, support, and disciplineneeded to parent their kids effectively. They must takeresponsibility for the impact their parenting will haveon their children. And they must recognize that intoday’s culture, their kids need them to be there morethan ever.

In John’s case, hiring a coach helped him to:

• Simplify the life of his family, so they could spend more time together

• Learn positive discipline skills, so the daily routines went more smoothly and there were fewer conflicts

• Develop a plan to put in place when he got angry, so he wouldn’t do or say something he’d regret later

• Learn how to be less judgmental with his daughter, and to find specific ways to be more connected with her.

Though parenthood can be extremely difficult andchallenging at times, it can also be incrediblyfulfilling and enjoyable. Most of us would never thinkof starting a new career without the information andtraining necessary to be effective. Do we think our jobas a parent is less important? Effective parentingskills can be learned by anyone who cares enough tocommit to them, and by anyone who knows the importanceof their parenting to the future of their kids.

It’s time for parents to get some help. It’s the bestinvestment they’ll ever make.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phoneto balance their life and improve family relationships.For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone, ebooksand courses for fathers, articles, and a FREE weeklynewsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.comor email him at mailto:mark@markbrandenburg.com .

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