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For many reasons a great number of parents now rely on someone
else to care for their young children during the day. Some can
count on grand parents or other relatives for the care. A small
percentage of families employ their own nanny, baby-sitter, or
au pair. Many find a “home care” provider, someone in the
business of looking after a small group or youngsters in her
own home. Still other Parents rely on day car centers, which
often handle large numbers of children.
Still some form of day care may be necessary in yourcircumstances. In that case, you want to find a place thatcomes as close as possible to giving the kind of attention andaffection you shower on your child. You want a place wheresomeone helps satisfy her own curiosity. If a child is aninfant, you want a place where someone is always there to pickher up, rock her, talk to her, smile back when she smiles,watch her while she crawls about, and help her feel that theworld is warm and friendly. If your child is a Toddler or olderpreschooler, you want a day care that offers a stimulatingenvironment for her to explore, a place where an adultgenuinely wants to help her learn. You want someone whopatiently asks and answers questions, reads stories aloud,sings songs, plays games, helps her stack those blocks, andshows excitement over her scribbles. That kind of high quality substitute care is not easy to comeby. Much day care is little more than custodial care-someonewho feeds and watches over Children diapers or wipes theirnoses when necessary, perhaps plays with them some, butbasically just keeps them safe and reasonably comfortable untilit is time to go home. In many cases, the quality of care thatchildren get is not what is should be. Even in places where the care is “adequate," the questionsstill arise: what are the effects on children who are separatedfrom their parents for much of their young lives? There areconflicting arguments. Day care proponents say that if thequality of car is good, it does not really affect children atall. Critics want that too much time spent in a day care cancause psychological, social and behavior problems. Widespreaduse of day care is still a relatively recent phenomenon andsocial scientists have not had enough time to measure itslasting effects. The best that can be said is not verycomforting: no one really knows for sure. PARENTS must therefore rely on their own common sense. Commonsense tells us that, since youngsters are not all alike, andsince the quality of day care varies tremendously from place toplace, the effects are going to differ from child to child. Somechildren will be fine spending a few hours a day from bothparents and being well looked after in an excellent day care.For others, though, the separation may pose developmentalrisks, risks apt to be deepened in a sub-par day care center.Parents know their own children best, and that makes them thebest judges of what is safe and right. Ask yourself some important questions. First of all, is itnecessary to put your child in a full-time day care? We believe“necessary” is the true standard you should use. Come up withanother option if you can. Some parents set up home offices sothat they can be near their Kids at least part of the week.Some moms and dads work alternate shifts to ensure one parentis always home. Still others find weekend work to help withexpenses and allow continual parental care. Many parents (such as single moms) have no choice but to useday care. They may not like it, but they have no viablealternative. Let us be honest though. There are some moms anddads in this country who place their children in day care fortyor more hours a week- almost from the time that they are born-when they do not really have to. They often do it for the sakeof a high-status position, a fancier home, or expensivevacations. Here in the wealthiest country in the world, many ofus now send our kids off to be raised by others. That shouldgive us all a pause. Generally, I would advice against turningyour little one over to someone if it is avoidable. 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