Free toddlers activity & child discipline guide parenting article about Understanding Security Through A Child’s Eyes

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Are you familiar with Charles M Shulz's classic comic strip Peanuts?

Linus Van Pelt is the sagacious friend who stuns Charlie Brown and the gang with his battery of philosophical and intellectual quips. Despite being the "adult" in the gang, however, Linus is always clutching his precious blanket while sucking his thumb on the other. So, why does Linus, who embodies wisdom beyond his years, need the blanket anyway?

A child's attachment to a particular object – a stuffed animal, pillow, or blanket – finds its roots in the child's early socialization and exploration stages, which begins at around six months old. At this stage, babies are already forming emotional attachments with their parents or primary caregivers.

With improved motor skills, babies will try all sorts of tricks to get their parents' or caregivers' undivided attention and response. Experts say that this coveted response is crucial in building your baby's trust.

As babies grow into toddlers, they become increasingly interested in people and their surroundings. They are ready to communicate, learn, play, and go out into the world with their newly acquired skills.

There is no need to worry about a child's attachment toward an object as long as it does not interfere with the daily functioning of the child. It is still developmentally appropriate or acceptable for children from ages 0 to six to have security items.

The longing for a security item only proves that a child is a smart little one and has created a substitute to help him or her feel the parental comfort when mom or dad are not available. Moreover, kids will gradually let go of their security items once they gain adequate trust in their caregivers and confidence in themselves and their environment.

In some extreme cases, a child becomes overly dependent on the security item, suffering from severe emotional anxiety and/or physical dysfunction in its absence. If this happens, seeking the assistance of a child expert might already be necessary.

Here are some ideas you can try to help your children part gradually and amicably with their beloved blankie or stuffed toy:

- Tell your child that she can have her security object anywhere around the house, but not in school or at parties.

- Do not allow your child to watch violent or scary movies and TV programs. The tension will push your kid to seek the calming effect of the security item.

- Never take a security item from your child during times of distress.

- Constantly hug and hold your child. Kids will have prolonged need for their security items when adoration and love are not available.

Let your child decide for himself when he wants to let go of his comfort objects. Pay attention to the telltale signs that your child is ready to give up the comfort object on his own (for instance, when he leaves the object behind more often, or when he begins to take interest in other objects like books) and act on them right away. Tossing the habit on his own will be his first step to assertion and independence. Be there to support him.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD DOESN’T WANT TO SLEEP AFTERNOONS

This might happen to you, no only on occasions, but almost daily. In the morning, you and your little one are best friends, you are playing together and you have a wonderful collaboration. After lunch, something is starting to happen – the child becomes anxious, maybe he’s crying, he says he still has something to eat when the plate is empty and so on… All these are only the clues for your nightmare: he won’t sleep this afternoon either!

The sleep after lunch represents for most adults an inaccessible luxury, even if it is highly indicated for a better digestion and to avoid over-soliciting the organism. This is exactly why you must accustom your child to this healthy habit, no matter how much he fights it. A first advice would be to insist: don’t give up on his pleadings at least until the afternoon sleep is part of his daily routine.

One way to do it is to sit down on the bed next to your child and to read him a story. His organism will surely react and he will soon fall asleep. Don’t forget to place next to him his teddy bear or doll, telling him that the toy has to sleep too.

The method can be reversed: tell him, with a serious tone, that it is essential for the toy to sleep and who can take better care of it that the child himself. Put him to bed with the toy and leave the room. It is highly probable that within the next ten minutes you will find him sleeping.

It is recommended that you will come back from time to time and see if he is indeed sleeping. If he’s playing and totally forgot he has to sleep then stay with him, cheer him up and talk to him on a low tone and it will work just like a lullaby.

Another strategy is to promise the child you will take him out in the park to play with other children and for that he needs to be rested. This will make him happy and he will go to sleep easier. The only trick is to actually go with him to the park after he wakes up. If you don’t then he will lose his trust in you and you will have more problems with him, many more than just the afternoon sleep.

Don’t use it as a blackmail though – the child needs to understand and to learn that afternoon naps are not a way to get what he wants and not a punishment either, he needs to understand them as a healthy habit necessary for his health.

If possible try to get him to sleep every day at the same hour because this way his organism will react and after a few weeks the little one will get sleepy right after lunch. That is going to be a relief from all the previous problems!

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