“Not Sharing”
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The word “mine” is a favorite among the younger children, and is normally used to remind others of their territorial rights.
Under the age of five this four-letter word is very common in the family home, unfortunately this possessive behavior will not let up the child has developed the let go ability and this is usually (between the age of three and four years).
Help your child understand the give and take in this world, with your constant guidance, and enforcing the sharing rule at home with your child will help improve the situation.
Remember to be patient, for it takes time.
Don’t expect your child to instantly reward you with the immediate sharing action. You will know when your child is ready, when you notice your child sharing without your involvement.
Avoiding The Problem:
Make sure some toys rigorously belong to your child. Before our little ones can give up the word mine and everything attached to it, it is necessary for them to be given the opportunity to possess things.
A good idea when visitors arrive, put your child’s favorite toys and belongings away so as your child is not pressured into sharing with them.
Give Your Child An Example Of You Sharing With Your Friends.
Explain to your child that he is not the only one in the world expected to share his property, mention to your child some of your own sharing with friends, say, “Amanda borrowed my overcoat today,” or, “Peter borrowed my wheelbarrow a couple of days ago.”
Indicate What Sharing Means And How Much You Like To See It:
Let your child know how good it is to see him nicely sharing each time he is allowing another person to play with his things. For example, say, “it makes you feel really happy the way he is sharing and letting his friend have that toy to play with for a few minutes.”
Place Labels On toys
For the child who is at playgroup, kinder even school it is a good idea to label their belongings, also reassuring your child that his name is clearly marked, so when he shares his things with his friends it is sure to be returned to him.
Put Labels On Similar Toys:
For twins or children who are close in age, label their toys. You may wish to mark them different so there’s no confusion, this will also help your children feel there is no doubt of their possession.
Sharing Rules:
Before friends come to play, take a moment with your child to explain what is expected of him, enforcing the sharing rule in the company of others. For instance, say to your child, “If you put a toy down, then you have finished playing with it allowing others to play with it. If you still have the toy in your hand, you may continue and keep playing.
You May Witness Your Childs Sharing To Be Better At A Friends House:
Your child may seem to be less protective of ownership, its likely he feels more comfortable sharing with his friend at his house, where he is not defending his own property.
Remember Sharing Has To Do With Development:
Learning to sharing is an achievement that takes time. Generally at the age of three to four years, your child will set the wheels in motion by sharing without being told to.
Solving The Problem:
Stay at a close range when one-and two-year-olds play, as children younger than three years old should not be expected to share without supervision, your assistance may be required to help resolve any unhappy sharing battles, they are too little to deal with the situation without your input.
Timing Turns:
There comes a time when you need to steep and take action, such as when you get two children yelling out the toy is “mine,” calmly show the children how the give-and-take of sharing works.
Let them know you will be setting a time limit for each of them using an alarm, which will ring, then its the other child’s turn to have the toy. Continue using the timer for as long as needed or hope they get bored with the toy.
The Last Resort, Time Out For The Toy:
When all else fails, and a certain toy is causing the problem where a child won’t share, remove the toy and place in Time Out.
Let the children know, telling them, “Because the toy was causing a problem.
It is going into Time Out.” If the children continue with the war over the toy after Time Out, remove the toy again and again to make them understand that not sharing the toy, means neither one of them get to play with it.
Keeping Your Cool:
Don’t Get Upset:
Keep in mind; your child will learn the sharing rule as he develops the understanding, always encourage the meaning of the sharing rule, but not by force. When you notice, your child sharing, it will be obvious he is ready to do so.
Don’t Penalize For The Occasional Slip Up Of Not Sharing:
If it’s only on the odd occasion your child is not happy to share, it’s a good idea to remove the object that is causing this behavior, rather than putting your child through a lecture.
This sorts out the problem, putting the blame on the cause and not your child.
Article contributed by Theresea Hughes, creator of
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